Wednesday, 4 January 2012

3am Lockout


G'day Bazel here! Well I’m only just starting to see the light of day and have almost recovered from my massive week long bender. I think I’m done for a little while now...till next week ha ha
The weekend was a destructive glorious blur from one festive drinking session to the next (with my liver giving notice) Getting away from annoying relatives was appreciated though  totally wishing I had just 10% of their adult sensibility, composure and restraint right now....
So now I have my bearings and had a chance to speak to Sage about some in-house deets, I’m glad to hear that over 1000 people were let loose into the confines of Consortium to see in the new-year with the Full Noise New Year’s Eve party. The balloon drop was a success with many balloons loaded with prizes. This being one of their biggest nights, it was able to run pretty smooth with the 3am lockout being abolished.

3am Lockouts most pleasurable experiences with Dr Baz

1)    Since urine is found in 90% of Flinders Street’s soil substructure, the urine problem will become a useful commodity. With Flinders Street becoming famous for its extraordinary Urea deposits, Townsville will become one of the biggest exporters of Urea in the world, single handily saving the fertilizer crises.... phew!
Lockout produces some interesting public urinating. Side view, back view, accidental urination, taking a slash and fourth dimension spewing simultaneously. Bashful peeing, proud peeing, angry peeing and bawling ones eye’s out and peeing? I have witnessed it all in plain view- no bushes required.....

2)    Missed making lockout? Great!  Join the overrun taxi cab line and enjoy the ‘3am Lockout Fighter’ You could just be eating that piece of pizza the wrong way or looking at their pig of a girlfriend dressed like strung ham (who shouldn’t be eating pizza at all) tips them into this destructive sliding scale of immense stupidity- influenced only by the twilight zone, that is, 3am lockout. Attacks on the innocent walkers by to the poor cab line bystanders tolerating these “Bogan-innious-commonis” who speak at a million decibels (because everyone apparently is hearing impaired) My secret wish would be to quietly push them in front of a cab moving at 100km/h...oops   (It’s not murder if it looks like an accident)

With the influx of well behaved patrons, doesn’t this say something about the clubs extended lockout till 5am? Tax payer’s beware! Let’s make more ridiculous rules we really don’t need. Let’s justify our jobs in our cushy government departments. Let’s just create a 3am lockout that will cause unrest and call it “The monitoring of the drink safe precinct” We’ll create jobs for mates, we get to visit Townsville, the boss will pay for everything...awesome!

So who would like to see 3am lockout abolished? I would love to hear from you. What do you think Finders Street should do?
Comment on this post and you could WIN $500.00 CASH
Also WIN a Consortium booth for you and 8 friends valued at over $500.00
And go in the draw to win an exclusive dinner for two at the Watermark!
It’s easy sign up to be a Google Follower then comment on “ 3am lockout”
Ok guys speak soon

Cheers Bazel

Consortium New Years Eve Photos













Warning! video may contain fun footage